[LINK] LOOSE MONEY FAST ! ! !

Thu, 17 Feb 2000 01:20:44 +0100

(this is not a spam ;-)

On Thu, 17 Feb 2000 01:12:45 +0100 (CET), Mail Delivery Subsystem
<MAILER-DAEMON@xs4all.nl> wrote:

The original message was received at Thu, 17 Feb 2000 01:12:43 +0100
(CET)
from mir.xs4all.nl [194.109.55.190]
Dennis Leary on Chain Letters:

Hello, my name is Basmati Kasaar. I am suffering from rare and deadly
diseases, poor scores on final exams, extreme virginity, fear of being
kidnapped and executed by electrocution, and guilt for not forwarding
out 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me by people who actually
believe that if you send them on, then that poor 6 year old girl in
Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough
money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her off to
the travelling freak show.

Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you and
everyone you send "his" email to $1000?  How stupid are you?  Ooooh,
looky  here!  If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll  get
laid by every Playboy model in the magazine! What a bunch of bullshit.

So basically, this message is a big "FUCK YOU" to all the people out
there who have nothing better to do than to send me stupid chain mail
forwards.  Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my
apartment and hurt me in my sleep for not continuing the chain which
was started by Jesus in 5A.D. and was brought to this country by
midget pilgrims on the Mayflower and if it makes it to the year 2000,
it'll be in the Guinness Book of  World Records for longest continuous
streak of blatant stupidity.  Fuck them.

If you're going to forward something, at least send me something
mildly amusing.  I've seen all the "send this to 50 of your closest
friends and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow
receive a nickel  from some omniscient being" forwards about 90 times.
I don't fucking care.

Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually
contributing to by sending out forwards.  Chances are it's your own
unpopularity.

THE FOUR BASIC TYPES OF CHAIN LETTERS:

Chain Letter Type 1:

       (scroll down)

                   Make a wish!!!

                   No, really, go on and make one!!!

   Oh please, they'll never go out with you!!!   Wish something
else!!!

   Not that, you pervert!!

   Is your finger getting tired yet?

            STOP!!!!

   Wasn't that fun? :)

   Hope you made a great wish :)

Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll do.  First of all, if
you don't send this to 5096 people in  the next 5 seconds, you will be
raped by a mad goat and thrown off a high building into a pile of
manure.

It's true! Because, THIS letter isn't like all of those fake ones,
THIS one is TRUE!!  Really!!!

Here's how it goes:

Send this to 1 person: One person will be pissed off at you for
sending them a stupid chain letter.

Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be pissed off at you for
sending them a stupid chain letter.

Send this to 5-10 people: 5-10 people will be pissed off at you for
sending them a stupid chain letter, and may form a plot on your life.

Send this to 10-20 people: 10-20 people will be pissed off at you for
sending them a stupid chain letter and will firebomb your house.

Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!!

   Chain Letter Type 2

   Hello, and thank you for reading this letter.  You see, there is a
starving little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no arms, no
legs, no parents, and no goats.

This little boy's life could be saved, because for every time  you
pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the Little Starving Legless
Armless Goatless Boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund. Oh, and
remember, we have absolutely no way of counting the emails sent and
this is all a complete load of bullshit. So go on, reach out. Send
this to 5 people in the next 47 seconds.  Oh, and a reminder - if you
accidentally send this to 4 or 6 people, you will die instantly.
Thanks again!!

Chain Letter Type 3

Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897.  This
is absolutely incredible because there was no email then and probably
not as many sad fools with nothing better to do.

So this is how it works: Pass this on to 15,067 people in the next 7
minutes or something horrible will happen to you like:

   Bizarre Horror Story #1

Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday. She had
recently received this letter and ignored it. She then tripped in a
crack in the sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a
drainpipe in a flood of poopie, and went flying out over a waterfall.
Not only did she smell  nasty, she died. This Could Happen To You!!!

   Bizarre Horror Story #2

Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his mail and
ignored it.  Later that day, he was hit by a car and so was his
boyfriend (hey, some people swing that way). They both died and went
to hell and were cursed to eat adorable kittens every day for
eternity.

This Could  Happen To You Too!!!

Remember, you could end up just like Pinsley and Bip.  Just send this
letter to all of your loser friends, and everything will be okay.

   Chain Letter Type 4:
As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote.  Send it to every one of
your friends.

              Friends

         A friend is someone who is always at your side.
         A friend is someone who likes you even though you stink of
             shit, and your breath smells like you've been eating cat
food.
         A friend is someone who likes you even though you're as ugly
             as a hat full of assholes.
         A friend is someone who cleans up for you after you've
             soiled yourself.
         A friend is someone who stays with you all night while
             you cry about your sad, sad life.
         A friend is someone who scrubs your toilet, vacuums and then
             gets the check and leaves and doesn't speak much English
              ...no, sorry that's the cleaning lady.
         A friend is not someone who sends you chain letters
             because he wants his wish of being rich to come true.

Now pass this on! If you don't, you'll never have sex ever again.

The point being? If you get some chain letter that's threatening to
leave you hagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it.

If it's funny, send it on.  Don't piss people off by making them feel
guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth, who's been tied to a
dead elephant for 27 years, whose only saviour is the 5 cents per
letter he'll receive  if you forward this mail, otherwise you'll end
up like Miranda.  Right?

Now forward this to everyone you know otherwise you'll have to look at
me naked!