[LINK] Link Institute Needs Help

[Robin Whittle]

The Nigerian spam has clearly developed into a new art form.   I
received one the other day purporting to be from white Zimbabwean
farmers who were prepared to share with me a substantial percentage of
some huge sum of money they needed to get out of the country.

After receiving a Nigerian spam titled "PLEASE LISTEN TO MY CRYING":

- - - -

   Dear,

   I am miss Patience  Epue,

   Final year student of Ambrose Alli university, Nigeria.
   I have urgent and very confidential business
   and an assistance for you.

   There was a foreigner called Engr.  Barry  Kelly,

   a Foreign Oil consultant/contractor
   with the Nigerian
   National Petroleum Corporation, Mr.Barry Kelly, I met him 1997 and 
   we develope a marriage affairs.
   He proposed to marry me but my parents were never in
   support of my affairs with him but i insisted

   . . . 

   My surposed husband Engr. Barry,
   died on moto accident  on the 24th of april 2002.
   He died without a WILL, and all attempts to trace his next of kin 
   or any relation was fruitless. 

   . . . they as well rejected my pregnatcy and even after given birth, 
   all my request for them to cater for the child has been fruitless. 
   So because of the bad treatment i received from his family, i now 
   hold to my chest the particulars of the funds $20,500.000.00, with 
   the security company.

   . . .

   The cash in question is to the tone of
   US$ 20,500,000.00(TWENTY MILLION,FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLAS)

   Upon your acceptance of this offer, i have aggreed
   to share this fund with you as 30% for you,
   50% for me, 10% for ophanage, and 10% for any expenses.

   . . . 

   Please observe utmost confidentiality, and rest
   assured that this
   transaction would be most profitable for both of us
   because I shall
   require your assistance to invest my share in your
   country.(Buying of
   properties like houses, hotels etc)

   . . . 

   Please treat me as your sister, daughter and the
   misrable future of the just born baby by a student
   without father.Waiting to hear from you soon.

   Miss  Patience  Epue

- - - 

the operatic potential of this genre became obvious.

If I had nothing better to do, I would get a bunch of these spams and
feed them to a Mark V. Chaney program:

  http://www.burningpress.org/toolbox/

which is a probabilistic text generator which synthesises text from a
tree of probabilities by which words are found in the input text.  Its a
blender-like process which, with the right quantity of input text,
generates fresh material which generally maintains enough of the syntax
and low-level word groupings and punctuation, to make reasonable
sentences and some kind of sense, but has discontinuities which can be
highly entertaining.

Then I would get a bunch of open-source speech synthesis, audio software
etc. together with Csound and my binaural additions to Csound and create
what might be the world's first totally software synthesised binaural
opera.

Seeding the input text with this business proposal from the Link
institute would surely give the resulting magnum opus a special
piquancy.

This would be the fun side of postmodernism!  To hell with all the
earnest relativism and reducing everything to a text!

  - Robin


  http://www.firstpr.com.au http://fondlyandfirmly.com
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For Link list information see http://sunsite.anu.edu.au/link/