[LINK] Calls for regulation following Internet suicide

[Fred Pilcher]

Link Institute calls for regulation of idiots
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The Link Institute has called for regulation of idiots following the 
latest attribution of a teenage suicide to The Internet.

"Our most recent studies clearly demonstrate that the number of idiots 
has increased significantly since the Internet was invented," says 
Professor Klerphel, Director of the Link Institute.

"We have mapped the rise of idiocy against technological innovation and 
the results are conclusive. The number of people blaming the Internet 
for such occurrences as suicide, rape, murder, war and bad manners is 
now 4.76% higher on aggregate than those who blamed television in the 
days before the Internet. The invention of television showed a 14.9% 
rise over radio, radio increased idiocy by 6.38% over the telegraph and 
the telegraph increased idiocy by 12% over post. Early records indicate 
that there was a similar rise following the invention of writing, but 
records are sketchy and, despite improvements, cuneiform is still 
difficult to read."

"While 4.76% doesn't sound like much of an increase," the Professor 
added, "it's early days. Our projections indicate that the figure will 
continue to rise and may even outstrip that attributable to television 
in the next twenty years.

Unless governments act decisively to ban idiots now we will be at 
serious risk of idiots outnumbering non-idiots within the next decade."