[LINK] Oh, that evil Internet!

[Leah Manta]

At 11:47 23/07/2009, Craig Sanders wrote:
>On Thu, Jul 23, 2009 at 10:38:09AM +0100, Leah Manta wrote:
>
>quiet, go outside and play"...and from the age of about 10 that changed
>from "outside" (the backyard or the street outside the house) to the
>local park a kilometer or so away or the local pool or the library or
>whatever. and that was the common experience amongst all my peers.

Ok, I'll agree with that.  To a agree was my own experience.  But 
then some kids are smarter than others.

>nowadays, you *never* see kids out and about messing around at the park
>or the local creek or whatever. they're not allowed out by themselves,
>and they seem to have no interest in going out and doing things in the
>big blue room.

Not so much around here.  The parks are full of kids who have been 
sent out of home so Mum and entertain this weeks boyfriend, of groups 
of teen boys who are panning their purchase of superglue.

Kids under 13 are talking about the best age and who to have sex with 
amongst each other.

Groups of kids strategies how to raid the corner stores in groups of 3 or more.

Then there are the innocent victims of bullying who play on the 
playground equipment, run from being harassed or climb trees.

But too consistently, it's known, that these kids are way under 
supervised by the majority of parents.

It's such a complex balance between coddling and freedom.  What fits 
one does not fit another.

>my generation's parents (boomers) were probably a bit negligent and
>certainly wilfully blind to some of the real dangers in the world (e.g.
>refusing to believe that your pervy uncle - or teacher, or priest,
>etc - was a danger while still getting caught up in the bogus hype of
>deceptive memes like "Stranger Danger")....but i think my generation
>have swung way too far in the opposite direction, and tend to be
>over-protective and clingy.

Yes, I agree totally with that perception.  I'm guilty of that 
pendulum swing, but also aware of the opposite.


>over-protective and clingy. their kids never grow up or are growing up
>late because they've never been allowed to do anything on their own and,
>just as importantly, they've never *had to* do anything on their own.

There is a great series made by the BBC called "Young, Dumb and Living Off Mum"
http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00lvt9g
Series in which moddlycoddled 17 to 25-year-olds with no life skills 
are fast-tracked into fully functioning, independent adults using 
real life challenges in just four weeks

It's a hysterical watch, although clearly "yet another reality TV 
show" as one gets eliminated every challenge.

Although I class it more as a comedy of errors, and no doubt there is 
a lot of "playing up" you can genuinely see the ignorance and 
stupidity of not only the children but the parents.

Class plays no role as there are deprived families through to top of town.

There is no shortage of Bullying behavior in the first episode 
between the house members.  (It's a bit like Big Brother without the 
isolation.)

>back to the topic of bullying - IMO, the question isn't "how do we stop
>bullying?" because there will always be bullying, there will always be
>arseholes in this world, and bad shit will always happen. the question
>really needing an answer is "how do we teach kids to be strong and
>resilient - to be able to stand up to bullies, or at least immune to
>them and have the ability to walk away and not accept/internalise their
>malicious insults?"

Something like that.  Unfortunately, even I am subject to Bullying, 
and repeat bullying every day by the same small insignificant group, 
does have an emotional affect on one.

I have been told in the last 12 hours that Racism is a huge bullying 
issue in parts of the USA and often those who scream it loudest are 
those who are screaming against it but doing it anyway.

There was a murder last week of a woman who was clearly a lesbian, 
living with her partner.  Its shocked the town.  No surprise she was 
quite a public busy body working in a range of community and social areas.

And then there is the Harvard Professor who was arrested, apparently, 
because he was Black.

A woman across the road, (inside the Campus) called Police when she 
saw "two black men shouldering the front door."  It turns out that 
the Professor had returned home, the lock had been jemmied, and he 
decided to push the door in to get in.  The police arrived and wanted 
to see the ID of the "two black men" in the house.

It got a little 'vocal' apparently.  But given the Police Officer and 
his view, witness accounts and the Professors story, I doubt anyone 
will ever know what really happened.

Bullying comes in man forms, I think we need to educate people not 
about bullying but about Diversity and Acceptance.  Tolerance is not 
a good option, it implies you don't respect but will allow to be.

Acceptance is the key.



Bit like "Windows v OSX v Linux" :)