[LINK] Weekend Magazine - WI-FI IS KILLING AMERICAN TREES

[Tom Koltai]

This one concerned me until I read about the squirrels and chipmunks...



http://weeklyworldnews.com/headlines/25141/wi-fi-is-killing-american-tre
es/
Quote/
WI-FI IS KILLING AMERICAN TREES

Posted on Monday, November 22nd, 2010
By Frank Lake 

JOPLIN, MISSOURI -  Wi-Fi systems are killing trees across America.
There may be no way to reverse the damage.

A study by  Washington University in St. Louis confirms  that Wi-Fi
radiation causes abnormalities in trees and these abnormalities
eventually lead to tree death.   Trees that are exposed to the RF (Radio
Frequency) technology of Wi-Fi systems are dead within a year of
exposure.

The city of Joplin commissioned the study five months ago. They wanted
to figure out why their city's trees were developing weird growths.  The
study was conducted by Nobel Prize winning Professor Gunnar Hofverberg -
the leading Wi-Fi expert in the United States, and a world-renowned
arborist.  Hofverberg concluded that 97 percent of trees in urban areas
will die from Wi-Fi exposure.

"We studied tree bark, tree sap, and the insects inhabiting the trees.
They were all adversely affected by RF.   Botanists and arborists are
extremely concerned and feel that this is a national crisis of epic
proportions."  Hofverberg recommends banning all Wi-Fi usage within a
ten miles radius of any trees.

"It's the only way we can save the trees of America."

The study exposed 900 ash trees to various radiation sources for a
period of three months. Trees placed closest to the Wi-Fi radio
demonstrated a "lead-like shine" on their leaves caused dying of the
upper and lower epidermis of the leaves - and the ultimate death of the
trees.

He also found that Wi-Fi radiation causes squirrels to mate with
chipmunks.  "Apparently, the RF radiation adversely affects the
hypothalamus and the sexual synapses in the squirrel brain," said
Hofverberg.  "But the chipmunks seem to be adapting."

On the west coast, excessive Wi-Fi usage is causing forest fires.

"This seems to match our study," said Hofverberg.  He also feels that
Wi-Fi  usage may cause hurricanes and he's certain that they contribute
significantly to global warming and childhood obesity.

Hofverberg, who will be living in an ash tree for the next month, said
he is launching a new study on "big, leafy" shrubs in a month.  "I
really love shrubs.  I'm more a shrub man, than a tree man."  He'll have
results in eighty-seven days.  WWN will, of course, follow-up.

Go get 'em Gunnar! 
/Quote


i.e.: WiFi will be responsible for a new breed of animal... A Chiprel or
Squirmunk which doubtless will be ground based because all the trees
will be dead.
In AU of course this means that Bandicoots will be mating with Possums
(possibly drowned rat possums) resulting in a Possicute.