[LINK] Twitter Fleets
tom.worthington at tomw.net.au
Mon Nov 23 07:54:45 AEDT 2020
On 21/11/20 7:10 pm, Stephen Loosley wrote:
> Fleets: a new way to join the conversation ...
By a remarkable coincidence:
From the Office of the CEO, Professor Klerphell
Internal Memo to All Senior Staff
Subject: ChirpShip: A New Way to Distribute Random Thoughts
With its new ChirpShip(r) the Link Institute has made a major advance in
social media. We all know social media's purpose is to make money,
regardless of the consequences for trolled individuals, the destruction
of civil society, or world peace. It's where you go to avoid seeing what
is really happening, and having to talk to your family. Some say they do
not want to have their every random thought on the public record for
eternity: but who reads their posts? We have squeezed as much out of
this little learner as we can, so we have come up with new way to get
customers addicted to their smart phones.
At the Link Institute we've been working on the equivalent of a gateway
drug for social media users. With ChirpShip everyone can easily join in
and never leave. Any random thought a customer may have, however half
baked and regrettable in retrospect, can now start a conversation, and
at the same time end a relationship or a career.
Chirps will only be available to subscribers for a day. Of course we
know everyone will keep a copy permanently. We will be early to this
market with "ChirpKeep". Also we have opened negotiations with Interpol,
the Divorce Lawyers Association, and the Society for Human Resources
Professionals, for discount rates on data access.
ChipShip is available now. To get started we have invited school
children to sign up and start Chirping about their parents. To find out
how their kids are defaming them, parents will have to sign up too.
Through our tests we have found that ChirpShip is as addictive and
harmful poker machines, tobacco, and alcohol, but those are legal, so we
think we can get away with this for decades, or at least until the
public listing of the shares.
ps: Please we don't want a permanent record of this plan. So I remind
all staff that they are banned from using any form of social media.
Tom Worthington http://www.tomw.net.au
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